for some reason the reality of His resurrection really struck me deeper this year. have i've pondered it more? at a greater level? i'm not really sure why it has meant so much more to me this week than i remember in the past. trying to put my finger on that.
but i'm thankful. thankful He is Alive! thankful to know Him and want so badly to know Him much, much more.
maybe it's because there is some "bad" news stuff going on around me, in the lives of people I love.
i've allowed myself to imagine how devastated the disciples and the people who loved Jesus and knew him personally must have felt when he died. their world had come crashing down. we know the rest of the story so i guess i've missed going there in the past and really considering how they must have felt. their world...well, it felt over. maybe even felt like life wasn't worth living anymore.
and then when they saw and realized He was ALIVE?!?! imagine!!! everything changed. it wasn't over. their relief and excitement...i mean, can we really even grasp that? i guess when we have near misses with a tragedy in our life we get a glimpse of that relief. knowing what could have been and being thankful that it didn't happen. but i really can't get the intense LOW they had in seeing Him die like that and then suffering through that news for the days after followed by the intense HIGH knowing He was ALIVE and realizing He was more amazing and magnificent than they ever understood before. He had restored HOPE to them, from what seemed hopeless! don't you imagine they woke up the next day after seeing him and wondering if it was all a dream? excited to know it wasn't and that He really was alive with them again?
i think knowing the depths of hurt for people that i know right now has made me ponder these things. it's bad. life feels over for them. like you can't go on kind of over. not sure what to do. not sure where He is leading. feeling like every thing is crashing down. knowing you won't make it on your own without Him but even doubting you can do it with Him. a constant renewing of your mind to believe Him and trust Him in the midst of the chaos and fear. choosing to shut out the fear. wanting to trust Him and figuring out how that works in your everyday life, day by day and hour by hour.
and so this Easter I can't stop thinking about the importance of His resurrection. how because of His triumph over death and sin we have HOPE. and we can have it in hopeless situations. that His resurrection power is living in ME and in YOU if you believe in Him and know Him as your Savior. i still can't wrap my mind around that. every time i hear it, i'm amazed.
i tell you, i long for Heaven more and more. there were times in my life when i had this little check list of things i wanted to accomplish or experience (marriage, children, etc...) before i wanted to even think of Heaven; but, as this world is weighing down on me and the people i love - - i long for it more and more. He is changing me continually and i'm thankful. i want to long for Him more.
i know He is Alive and is working in my life and their lives and although things look bad and are tough, He will be glorified. we will see Him. He will restore. He IS hope in hopeless situations and He can make beautiful things out of lives that seem crushed and beaten down. He is not just powerful, HE is power. He is real and i trust Him.
i guess i did put my finger on it...why Easter means so much more to me this year.