Reflections of a Mom's Life

Thursday, July 9, 2009

where i'm at right now


i've been trying to figure out WHY i'm SO exhausted lately. seriously. SO exhausted. i have been wondering if it's the pool. :) haven't been in the mood to blog much. i've been avoiding it. you who are closest to me know my heart is VERY heavy right now. i have many loved ones around me who are hurting...family, friends, you name it...it seems like they are hurting.

THIS is why i'm so exhausted. it MUST be. it's exhausting to know people around you that you love so much are experiencing very difficult times in their life. my heart is very heavy and while i'm trying not to look like it wherever i go, it doesn't change how i feel inside.

i can't share why. i can only ask you to PRAY along with me. i have been wondering WHY? it's like you can't help yourself. i know the Lord is drawing each of these loved ones to Him. for various reasons. i know He has a plan and can use it all for His glory. i'm praying He gets the glory for what He is going to do in the lives of all of them! i hate they are hurting. i'm hurting along with them. i'm hoping and praying they will seek HIM and not this world or their own desires. i can't do that for them. i can't pretend i know what i would do if i were them or dealing with the BIG stuff they are.

i can only hope there would people around me praying. praying that i would seek HIM first. praying that i would trust HIM even when it seemed impossible and felt like my world was crashing in on me. i know they feel that way. each of them in their own way. so i'm praying. a ton. i know the Lord is using this time to draw me nearer to Him too.

i'm terribly distracted. i'm trying to be a good mother in the midst of all the stresses and worries. all of it makes me long for Heaven more. if you want to pray along with me, we would ALL appreciate it. the Lord knows who you will be praying for even if you don't know the names. :) pray that i will be faithful to share God's love and truth. even hard truth if i need to. pray that the Lord will use me during this time for these sweet people i love SO VERY MUCH.

i read this today on one of my friends status updates on FB and needed it. gonna need it a ton in the next few weeks and months. gonna need to remember it my whole life. there is a reason God commands us NOT to do certain things. it's not to harm us or frustrate us, it's for our protection. He is protecting me when he tells me i am not to worry. i need to trust Him. just like that. believe Him and TRUST HIM.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows; it only empties today of its strength.



11 comments:

Janet said...

Please know of my prayers right now!! Also praying for your own strength during this time.

Courtney said...

wow. LOVE that quote! and i'll be praying with you and for you! thanks for sharing your heart and letting us join you!

Heather said...

Praying for you, friend! I had a great time with you tonight and I'm glad you could laugh a lot:)!!

Jen said...

Beth, I experienced a very similar period of time like this not too long ago, when I felt like there was suffering all around me. And when people you love ache, you ache with them too. I did find that it strengthened my walk with the Lord, because I was in a position where the only thing I could do was pray. It's the sign of maturity that you are allowing your burden to pray for these people bring you closer to the Lord. He has a plan in store for you just like them and when it's your turn for the trial, you'll be that much stronger in your faith. With Anna's health in question again I feel like that time a couple months ago was strengthening me for this. As much as I hate to think there are always going to be trials coming, it's a reality and it's best when we can prepare ahead of time! All that to say, I feel your pain and I'll be praying with you!

Heather Marie said...

I am praying, Beth. Please be encouraged. I was just teaching my boys yesterday about the pressure the Lord uses in our lives to "engrave" or "carve" us into what He needs us to be for His purposes. We all experience more pressure from time to time. Perhaps you can ask the Lord what He would have YOU learn from this time and, as is often the case with me, when I learn the lesson, the pressure is lifted in varying degrees. Just a thought....

with love,
heather marie

Sherri said...

I'm praying for you and your loved ones. I, too, feel heavy for those I love who are hurting. If there's anything else I can do, please let me know.

Judy said...

Thanks so much for sharing Beth. I think you just spoke what my heart has been feeling for about 2 years now. In my situation it's been heartache and grief that family members and friends have brought on themselves because of their sin. It's terrible to stand by and watch such heartache that could easily be avoided by obedience to God. I can relate to your weariness and I'm praying for you and your unspoken requests. Still praying for you little man too!

Heather J said...

Thanks for sharing your heart Beth and I will certainly lift up your family and friends during this trying time.

Linda Williams said...

That is what love is all about....when someone you love hurts, you hurt. And when someone you love rejoices, you rejoice. That is what we are supposed to be. You are simply living out what God commands us to do. I love you so much that you are like that!

Love,
Mom and Dad

Katy said...

you know i'm walking alongside of you during all of this my dear friend. it did my heart SO much good to see you this weekend, even if i did have to let you go a bit ago. know that i am lifting all of them up in prayer, and am confidently holding to His promise that His will is going to be fulfilled in the midst of it.

The Petersons said...

Praying for you and your loved ones during this difficult time. Having faced similar trials, I am always reminded of "Footprints in the Sand."

"My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, it was then that I carried you."