connection

warning: this is long. :) and it's our story. our family. not yours and i wouldn't want anyone to ever think that i am suggesting this should be your family story. want to get that out there before you keep reading... :)


i haven't posted on homeschooling in a long time. not on our year and how it's been. but i want to get my thoughts down here. some people have asked and i also want to remember this year. what it's been like and where we go from here...

i have loved homeschooling Harrison this year. i have also hated it at times. nothing wrong with brutal honesty, right? :)

but i love it more than i hate it. so that's good.

i believe it's been a success and it HAS set us on the right path.

i'll start with why it's been hard. he was in school for 2 years. he loved the idea of going to school. so much of being AT school is FUN!!! it truly is. i think if school was just about going to see friends and hanging out with your buddies he would have been set! :) so the transition hasn't always been easy. there have been days that we have both longed for "what used to be."

another reason it's been hard, is i am daily sacrificing all of my time and giving it to my children. this has been a huge struggle for me. all mom's do this, so i know you who aren't homeschooling aren't giving any less of your time but it IS different - i've experienced it both ways now. i have very little time to myself and i crave it. i crave a quiet home. i don't function well with the level of noise or level of chaos i feel around me. i can't keep my house as clean as i like to. well, i probably could but i'm just too tired. i have had to daily accept that there are sacrifices our family has chosen to make for Harrison (the others too, but mostly him at this point) that make some of my life more difficult. i'm not always understood by people who see us, meet us, know us. that is hard for me. everyone can't relate to me. see??? i struggle with ME. i am learning that there are more important things right now than my house being clean, laundry being caught up, errands being completed or even started, etc... this has been hard for me. :) i knew all along that all of my hang-ups to committing to what i KNEW God was calling me to do were selfish. i'd like to think i'm selfless when it comes to my children. but i'm not. i want to be. i'm learning to be. God is refining me. in SO many ways these days. in SO many different situations and relationships. it's hard. good. but hard too.

because so much of my time is literally spent with three children with me every second of the day i have accepted two new priorities. now, EVERY girl needs some time to herself. alone. with her husband. with friends. i understand the importance of that and Anthony does too. we are more intentional in this area. exercise is also a top priority right now. not because i have loads of time but because it's sanity for me - to go to the gym. the kids love it and it's good to have that time to myself.

on to the GOOD...and why it's working and why we're gonna keep going...

first, i have learned why some things weren't clicking in school. i understand him. i know his learning style. i'm better able to help him. i know what subjects are more difficult for him. he won't slip through the cracks. he won't be so well behaved and conversational that i look over his needs. that was happening at school. there was one subject where he was not getting the attention he needed and i am confident he will get that here.

second, i have tremendous support. from Anthony. from family. from friends. from homeschooling friends. from co-op. i don't feel alone.

but most important is the third GOOD thing that has come out of all of this...

CONNECTION.

there is this new parenting book that we've been reading (not pro-homeschooling but pro CONNECTION) that sums this up better than i can and why i now know the importance of connecting with your children. it's why i chose to homeschool Harrison but i didn't know how to express that at the time. Connection is what was broken in our relationship and while i knew that, i had NO IDEA where to begin or how to overcome this hurdle. in case you are quick to assume things here, i am NOT saying that homeschooling is how you establish a connection with your children. but, for our family, it has been the avenue by which reestablishing the connection has been possible. i didn't understand how deeply important connection is for your children. i wanted to be connected. i didn't know that it won't just develop on it's own. i didn't realize i was the reason why it may never develop at all.

we have reestablished the connection with Harrison.

last year, when i read back on those posts and think back on some of the things that were going on in Harrison's heart i just can't believe how far we have come...how far GOD has brought both of us. He is doing a miracle work. homeschooling has opened that door for us. we have had more time to work on that connection.

so it's been worth it. SO worth it!

the homeschooling itself has not been that difficult. when he stays on task we are finished in a few hours...some days that is harder than it sounds. :)

we are pushing forward next year. Jackson will join us. He works with us now but it will be much more official. :)

i don't regret this decision. sometimes i wish i didn't have to. sometimes i wish i could send them both to school next year and have my whole day with only Addison at home. some days that sounds like heaven.

but, for us...

for me and Harrison...

our connection would suffer. and i just can't have that. we need that before i can send him out into the big, big world again. i don't know when that will be. i'm taking things one year at a time. praying that God will continue to help me die to myself and trust Him.

i can't imagine going back to the days of having him arrive home at 4:15pm. exhausted. frustrated. battling through homework. having to choose whether he can even be involved in extra curricular activities because it may be too much for him. wondering if AWANA should be cut out because it gets him home late and then he suffers the next day at school. i can't imagine not being able to talk to him, about everything, all throughout the day...as exhausting as that is sometimes...only to have him come home too tired to tell me anything about his day. i can't go back to that. i can't send him back and honestly say that is what's best for him...for any of these three blessings God has entrusted to us. so what is to come? i just don't know. i don't have to know and that is OK.

i sure would have some nice days at home. my whole house organized and neat as a pin. plenty of me time and peaceful silence. i won't lie and say i don't envy it just a bit. can't say i don't dream of it just a little. :)

but there would be a consequence and it would come at a high price.

our connection.

Legacy Co-Op Finale

This year we have had the privilege to be part of a Homeschool Co-Op called Legacy. We meet for 8 weeks in the Fall and 8 weeks in the Spring. It has been such a blessing! The kids LOVE it and look so forward to going on Friday mornings and I have been blessed by the sweet ladies I've met and the wonderful encouraging atmosphere! Many of these ladies have been homeschooling for a long time compared to me (one year into it) and there is a lot to be said for people who have walked in your shoes. This year has been hard but very rewarding and a learning and growing experience for me and the kids. The way the co-op is set up we all co-teach a class for one hour and the second hour is a time of fellowship, prayer, and encouragement. I have LOVED it.

leading our 2nd/3rd graders in their two songs for the parents


One of Harrison's classes that he took was Human Body. He LOVED it. They trace their bodies the first week and as they learned about each organ, they filled in all the parts. He loved telling me all the fun, interesting facts he was learning. The other class he took was All about Animals. They studied all the continents and the specific animals that live there. He definitely LOVES science and is attracted to those subjects.

Jackson was ALL about the snacks, as usual!

cookies!

Jackson was showing me his Caterpillar and we loved seeing all the things he made in his preschool classes.


It was fun to have daddy, Mimi, & Papa to join us too! :)

burning chocolate, leaves, and bugs...OH MY!

One of Harrison's first Science projects this year was to experiment with Solar Energy using a magnifying glass and the Sun. We burned Chocolate - which smelled like smores, leaves, and bugs - which STUNK! Don't worry, the bugs were dead! :) He really enjoyed this and Jackson and Addison got in on all the fun too!




Next time I would do it on the grass or on cardboard or something. Anthony was thrilled to see the chocolaty mess we made all over the driveway! HA!! You'd be happy to know that in keeping with his usual self he convinced me that he REALLY wanted to burn a whole in Woody's face as Sid does in Toy Story 1. Anything to reenact that movie! Crazy boy...we did it. I explained the hole would be permanent and that we would NOT be buying a new Woody to replace burnt Woody. He agreed. I need to take a picture of it. Hilarious. Woody looks like a young Hindu girl with a Holy Dot or Bindi on her face!

my little students

here is a little peek into our school room. we're in our 3rd week of school now and it's going GREAT! so thankful for that. we love it. we really love it. seriously! :)

First day of 2nd Grade - Homeschool!!!

Harrison - 7 years old

Jackson - 4 years old

am i blessed or what??? i get to spend EVERY day with these cuties! :)

TODAY was our FIRST day of home school! to say i haven't fretted, worried, or stressed about this day would be an understatement. i did, however, spend MUCH of the summer in denial. it's how i cope. when people would ask me if i was ready or planning or thinking about the upcoming home school adventure i would just say NO. i truly did try to keep from thinking about it. there would be times i would catch myself and then i would just have to STOP. i had all of my curriculum ordered and ready and there just wasn't any use in thinking about something i couldn't start for months. too much stress for this brain! :)

well, finally...the summer had come to the end for us and August 24th was the 'day' i had set aside to begin. the Lord allowed me to come down with a stomach bug over the weekend which kept me from worrying about today. i'm trying to think of that as a blessing. :) especially after today...THE DAY...where i realized there was nothing to be worried about!

it was GREAT!!! Harrison LOVED it which was surprising to me. i thought it may take him a while to warm up to it. i wondered if he would miss the big classroom environment. he may still, i guess. it's early. but today was wonderful! he was excited, i was excited, and it was just what i needed...to see that spark in his eye again about learning. he had lost it last year. i saw excitement in his eyes today and an eagerness to learn and do his best. what a blessing! he kept saying how FUN it was and how much he LOVED it. (i'm writing this all down so i can remind him when he decides he'd rather NOT do school) :) and the best part of all you may want to know???? do you want to know??? huh??? :)

we started at 9am and we were finished at 10:45!!! he kept saying, "we're done? we're really done"? i had saved his reading for after lunch but he and i decided that since we were ALREADY done we would go ahead and do it then. he was playing by 11:15am and we were out the door at 12pm so i could run at the YMCA. in the future it may take a little longer and we'll probably save his reading, awana memorization, and a novel that i will read to him until after lunch. STILL...a GREAT start i think! and it felt like we had our whole day left...to do whatever. so strange. tonight we celebrated our big day with a yummy Jason's Deli dinner!

in case you are interested, here is what we'll be working on this year. most of our curriculum is based on suggestions from The Well Trained Mind with a few variations:

Bible: Proverbs, Character Training, Bible Stories, AWANA memorization
Math: Right Start Math
Spelling Workout
Handwriting: Cursive - Zaner Bloser
Copy Work/Dictation
Phonics: The Ordinary Parents Guide to Teaching Reading
Grammar: First Language Lessons
History: Story of the World - The Middle Ages (includes projects and map work)
Science: Fall - Exploring Creation through Astronomy (includes projects); Spring - Earth Science; Mudpies to Magnets - Science for Young Children (experiments)
Writing: Just Write, letters to Family & Friends
Reading: read aloud 20 minutes per day - chapter books; i will read aloud each day a couple chapters from classic novels we choose for the year; additional reading from library books about History and Science topics we are studying for the week.
Music: Music Ace & Piano Lessons
Arts and Crafts
Generations/Legacy Co-Op
Field Trips

Jackson will be working on your typical preschool things...letters, numbers, learning to write, starting phonics, learning to read and whatever else he's willing to participate in between play times! :)

we won't do all of this every day. some of it yes, and some of it is only 2x a week or less. it's divided out based on how many lessons are in the book. i'm thrilled with what we're going to be learning and very excited about the year ahead! thank you ALL for your support and prayers! i had some sweet notes waiting for me in my inbox this morning and phone calls today that meant so much to me...to know my sweet friends are thinking of us and praying for us is such a blessing! i'll try to update you on some of the fun stuff we do this year!

homeschooling

i guess i mentioned in one of my posts recently about our decision to home school. it's not a secret. but i hadn't made a public announcement on the blog. i'm sure it surprised some of you so let me give you the background on this big decision and big change for our family...

i never planned to home school. it had crossed my mind but it was never our plan. public school was our decision. we had considered Christian school but at the time Harrison entered Kindergarten, it was not an option for us financially and knowing that we had 2 children and planned to have another...it would not be a long term option for our family unless i worked. having me home is our priority.

Harrison's kindergarten year in public school was GREAT. we loved his teacher. he thrived at school. it was a wonderful experience and we felt very blessed. we love the year round schedule and never had a second thought about sending him back for 1st grade.

it's been a tough year for Harrison. i could have never predicted or expected all that has occurred with our little man. i feel like things really started around the time he broke his arm. before Christmas his behavior was really struggling. he was starting to have trouble focusing at school and just lost his desire to be there and ability to ENJOY it all together.

i kept feeling the Lord tug on my heart. i kept praying for Harrison and kept feeling like the Lord was asking me to pray about homeschooling. Anthony and i talked about it and we prayed a TON. i didn't tell anyone. i didn't want to hear opinions for or against homeschooling. i knew enough about all of that. i needed the Lord to tell me what he wanted US to do for OUR family. it's different for every family and i didn't want to be influenced by what other families had chosen. i struggled with it. i was very fearful. i didn't want to do it. i felt like it would make my life more complicated and difficult. i felt like it would take away all my free time. everything that i had against it (for me) seemed to be self centered. i was scared to death.

i finally confided in a dear friend and asked for prayer. she encouraged me to confess my fear. it was standing in the way of my knowing what the Lord had for us. so I did. it seemed almost immediate but within a few days Anthony and i truly felt a peace about this terrifying decision! :) i was worried at first what some might think. i have felt very supported though. i recognize this decision is not for every family. i actually never really thought i'd be making this decision either. :) each family has to ask the Lord to direct them when it comes to school. it's a hard decision to know what to do with your precious babies! i do believe God has allowed circumstances to bring us to this point. and i know He does that for each family whether it be public, private, or home school. He's made clear to us what we need to do for Harrison next year.

i say it that way because it's truly how i feel. i don't know about 3rd grade, 4th grade, 7th Grade, Jackson, Addison, etc... all i know is that we are going to home school Harrison next year for 2nd grade and i have a peace that it is what is best for him.

i want him to get back to a love of learning. i want him to feel less stress and pressure...to be less overwhelmed. we need to really work on his heart and some behavior stuff. so much of our time is spent "reacting" and there is so little time to be "proactive" with him...he's away from us most of the week. he leaves us at 8:30am and doesn't return until 4:00pm. he's physically and emotionally exhausted. we want what's best for him and we can honestly say right now the situation he's in is just not best. there are SO many things that have confirmed this decision for us. behavioral, social, issues with classmates, tension with his teacher and teacher's assistant, his feelings of failure and frustrations of being good enough or being able to do a good job. my heart gets heavy when i think of the emotions this little guy is dealing with right now. he is SO SMART! he is SO SWEET! he is SO LOVED...and yet he's having a hard time believing all those things.

we are going to stop. take a break. slow things down. love on him. give him our time and our attention. he's 7. he's too young for this kind of stress and pressure.

i know we've made the right decision. even when i start to fear, the Lord somehow confirms to us our decision.

like i said...i don't know how long. we're gonna take things one year at a time and see where the Lord takes us. He may direct us differently down the road and that is OK.

we've turned Anthony's old home office into a school room. it looks GREAT...pictures to come. we're gonna make it as fun as possible. we'll have school Mon.-Thurs. and take Friday's off. we'll follow a modified year-round schedule because we liked it so much. we hope to join a co-op for parties/fun activities. we won't join a co-op that we will meet with weekly. we want to keep things simple. we have lots of things we're involved in at church that will keep us busy and "social". :) God has put a few wonderful, godly, ladies in my life who have and are homeschooling. they are a wonderful resource and encouragement to me as i prepare for the coming year! isn't it WONDERFUL that He knows who to bring into your life and when!

i feel like i've rambled on here. it was good to get this all down.

i wanted to share my heart as well as fill you all in on this big step of faith for the Williams family! i know it's a shocker for some of you! :)