Reflections of a Mom's Life

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

off to bed discouraged...

do your kids ever say anything to you that just cuts deep? harrison did this tonight and it's like he knows just how to hurt me when he's upset at me. of course, i'm trying not to take it personally and i know he's only 5 but it reminds me of how i hurt my parents many times with my words. i rarely considered their feelings, it was all about me. it's so hard to see myself in him, the parts i don't like about myself, and wonder "how do i fix this???" "how to i help him keep from making the mistakes i made/make???" i'm completely at a loss tonight!

those of you with just wee little ones don't know this yet but it HURTS!!! even though i know he loves me, it killed me for him to go to bed upset. he would not come around, he would not even say a word, i could not reach him. a lot of prayers have been offered up tonight for my sweet boy...who IS usually sweet.

not looking forward to the teenage years, that's for sure.


Katy said...

Oh Beth, I'm so sorry you had one of those nights. It does make you think about what our own parents went through, doesn't it? We talked alot about that this weekend with my Mom. She kept saying how great it is now with us all grown - our relationships with each other and her are so strong...makes all those awful things we said as kids fade off into oblivion. Hang in there honey...he loves you - you are a GREAT mom...he'll be able to tell you that soon!! Praying this morning was a GOOD ONE!

Heather said...

Beth, my heart just hurts that mommy kind of hurt for you. It is so true that being a mommy can be so painful in ways I never thought possible and yet the greatest joys come from being a mommy who is trying to follow the Lords direction. YOu are an amazing mom. Keep taking your trials to the Lord, he will be your comfort. And praise HIM when you see your childs heart change before your eyes. What a gift.

Linda Williams said...

Growing up is not an easy thing to do! There is so much for our little Harrison to learn.....But God knew the best ones to teach him....You and Anthony.

This reminds me of a by-gone day: I was having a really hard time and Dad assured me that they still needed me and one day would appreciate me and I was in no mood to be comforted by that little bit of news. I quipped back, "but if I am 70 years old by the time they appreciate me....NO THANKS!" Little did I know that I was that close to 70 and life would get easier. Ha.


Vonda said...

Beth, my heart hurts for you but I know little Harrison adores you and he will one day appreciate you just like we appreciate our own parents now. I look back too and remember some of the things that I said to my parents not meaning to hurt them or just being too hurt to understand my own feelings...God heals all of that and it's all part of growing up. You are such a great Mama and a Godly one at that and that's what is important. My friend Becky already tells her boys, "One day when you're 30, you're gonna look back and wonder why in the world I did this or that as a Mom...but I just want you to know when you get to that point, that I loved you and I'm gonna mistakes and God is just going to have to cover all of that!" I love that...we as parents are HUMAN just like our parents are HUMAN...the emotions are real and the pain is real but God will give you wisdom Beth to raise your children for His Glory. Harrison, Jackson, and little Addison are blessed to have you as their Mom...truly blessed! Love you Vonda